Seriously guys? I get it. Women are batshit crazy. Listen Linda, I've been on a few dates recently. We did not get that way on our own. Let me just recap a few of the dates I've been on in the more recent months.
Date 1: Picture this. I'm standing outside at the Hard Rock Casino, minding my own business. Suddenly there is breaking glass and yells. A man darts in my direction, stands directly next to me and says, "I don't know those people. I'm not with them, I'm with you, we are here together and we don't know those people." I laugh a little and respond with, "Well, I guess you're in the right place. That my friend, is alcohol abuse."I see the confusion on his face, so I go on to explain I work in mental health and substance abuse. He seems intrigued, asks if I'm single and for my phone number. I give it to him, but overhear his buddies giving him hell and let them know I gave him the wrong number anyways and re-enter the building. Within seconds, I receive a text message confirming the number. He asks me to dinner, we go on a couple dates and play twenty questions. I answer his honestly, which mostly entail my history and family history...anyone that knows me, knows these are some real fun answers. (I laughed a little at that statement) His facial expressions tell all, and there is a little shock there. After I'm done speaking, he just looks inquisitive and says, "Have you ever seen that show Shameless?" I had to laugh, because I knew exactly where he was going with it. I mean, if he was comparing my family to that, he must be comparing me to, Fiona. I'll take it, in my book that's a compliment. I am guessing in his, it was deal-breaker...because he never called me again.
Date 2: Stage 5 clinger, level Buffalo Bill creepy. Couldn't get out of there fast enough. I would give details, but there aren't any really, other than the dude blew me up for a couple of days and just put off the weirdo vibes.
Date 3: Vehicle suddenly out of commission and needs a ride. Offers gas money initially, but at the end of the date claims his card won't work, but there's money on it. Baby's momma keeps calling, but they aren't together. He finally answers and it turns out they still live together....but aren't together...but sleep in the same bed, because the couch hurts his back...etc etc.
Date 4: Stood up. No call, no show. Turns out...he went to jail. (I now pronounce you deleted and blocked.) We have a zero tolerance policy these days.
Date 5: Non-existent. Dating sworn off. Special arrangements only.
As you can see, the pool probably needs to be drained, then scrubbed and fresh water added. I am all about honesty and truths. This is easily explained, but not widely understood it seems. In fact, I can tell them all day long until I am blue in the face that there is no need to lie to me, nothing has a shock factor anymore, and I take things pretty well. They don't listen or think I'm bullshitting I guess. I'm intelligent and a naturally observant person, with a degree in psychology. I might not tell you what I observe, but just know that I seen it. I may not say anything, but I'll drop subtle hints to see if you'll tell the truth. If you don't, I will politely send you on your way. Please take into account, I was married to a criminal mastermind who was full of charm and could easily manipulate his way in and out of any situation. I see it. I comprehend it, and please don't insult me by thinking you got one over on me. Chances are, I allowed it for the general purpose of seeing if you would carry it through and it was only to justify moving you to the discard pile. The end.
I am a genuinely kind human and I am a helper by nature. If someone is struggling, I always lend a hand if I am able. I love to love people and I dislike seeing them hurt. This is not a weakness or invitation to take advantage of my kindness. The leaches out there that believe this, always receive my assistance in the initial phases and maybe beyond that depending on the situation (Example: relatives of a significant other, perhaps.) I either take notice right out the door and cut ties beyond that, or I allow it for various other reasons irrelevant to the person themselves, who typically thinks they are some smooth operators. If only. Eventually, I take notice and cut ties there too. I am really good at picking apart situations and determining motives and plans of action. If you know me well, you know this to be true...especially if we watched psychological thrillers with twisted endings together. I'm a pro. I just do it in silence and I observe to confirm. Just trust, I am watching you, watching me, watch you. (LOL) All that said, don't play me for stupid is the status quo. If you have ill will or malicious intent, just spare us both and move along. I make all of this fairly clear, most of the time before the date even occurs. I further explain that I am not the average female, people are generally disposable to me, and they'll understand better if they get the chance to know me. Oddly, some act in ways they think it's a challenge or they think I'm bullshitting. Either way, they find out the hard way. The others, typically end up long-term friends...otherwise I wouldn't be single. Honestly, I've been through enough in my lifetime. So have my children. I have the right to be choosey and selective, and to discard those who serve no benefit or are only out for personal gain. If there is any humanity left in the world and a man is aware of his own intent...he'd be a true gentlemen and spare wasting my time and his. In other words, if your plan is to use me up, because you need something, or purely to get your dick wet there are other females out there to prey on. I promise you, if you're honest out the door and just trying to get laid...you may or may not get turned down. It just depends on my mood, you in general, and whether or not I feel like that vibe is there or there is any kind of potential. Either way, the worst you get is a no. Not difficult. What is difficult is the rejection you're going to feel, when I figure out you're a liar and a fake and cut you off completely. I assure you, that's not what you want. I'm a good friend and a true asset to have around. At the same time, that's not all I am good for and I absolutely do not belong on a back-burner to be used whenever it is necessity. Don't be like the sheeple around these days, which is consistent with being a self-serving asshole. Stand on principle and the morals and values you claim, otherwise hit the road Jack.
"Love will get you hurt, trust will get you killed, and real will get you hated."-Johnny Cash
"Love will get you hurt..."
I always tell people, I love everyone until they give me reason not to. I have always fought and advocated for the underdog and if you're sitting alone at lunch...you'll end up sitting with me. If you're making fun of someone, you're probably gonna hear it from me. I don't exercise, but my mouth runs and if you strike that cord or flip the bitch switch, you're gonna hear about it....and probably even live to tell about it. I love hard, I bend and flex, and I go out of my way for those I love. For some reason, that generally puts a target on my back for the predators and leaches of the world. I've been hurt a lot because of it, but I've also gained some quality friends. I've been told to stop being so giving, but its a quality that is part of who I am and I wouldn't be me otherwise. I am trying to manage it a little better.
"Trust will get you killed..."
Truer words will never be spoken. I always give others the benefit of the doubt and with me trust is given right out the door, until it is removed. I know its a backwards way of thinking, but I've always been an honest and in your face person...and in doing so I have avoided a lot of mishaps. However, this is a quality often mistaken for weakness and that predatory species of human feeds on it. I'm a believer in second chances, but once all trust is gone, so are you. Some learn the hard way, and it is absolutely true that you don't know what you had until its gone. Keep it real with me, cause you get real from me all of the time. If I lose trust in you, consider the relationship dead.
"Real will get you hated..."
100% fact. Truth. Absolute. I don't have a lot of enemies, but when I do, it's because I was real...and that got me real hated. Well, what does that look like praytel? Gaslighters, that's what. Generally, my enemies are those who ultimately wronged me, but flipped the script and made up fictional stories to make me the bad guy and themselves the victims. Guess who doesn't correct those rumors and allows them unphased? If you come to me because you "heard"something through the grapevine, I'm probably going to hear you out...then I'm going to laugh and say, "I had no idea that's how things went down. Interesting. Thanks for letting me know." If its a situation I am all but done with and sick of, I'm gonna tell you I don't care and don't even want to hear about it. Followed by telling you to just keep it to yourself, cause I don't care to know. If you've heard something about me that labels me as scandelizing and malicious, chances are its false and there is much more to the story. If it is of great concern to you, take it straight to the source or call a meeting of the parties involved. I'll show up, but chances are they won't. It is always good to remember there are three sides to every story...yours, theirs and the truth. If you want the truth, get everyone involved together and confront it head on. If nobody is willing to do so or one side bails...you'll know who the story-teller is and what the truth probably entails. I'll be accountable for my own sins, cause god ain't gonna ask you about mine or me about yours.
The fact of the matter is this:
I'm different and way beyond normal. While I am a magnet for most of the time unwanted chaos, life is anything but boring if you're around me. Whether that be me being the entertainment or whatever the shenanigans the universe has in store for us at any given time. I promise, my adventerous and rebellious, gypsy-like spirit will always keep you on your toes. I have a quirky and morbid sense of humor that will make you laugh, and if doesn't it will at least make me laugh. I can hold intelligent conversations, but if its in regards to political disagreements I will say my peace and politely agree to disagree if it is warranted. I always keep an open-mind and I am accepting of those who do not have ill will towards me, flaws and all. I am not one to judge anyone on their past or present, and while I might offer advice, I always try to see things from the perspective others or from their point of view. I am a good friend if you're good to me, and even if you choose to see me as the enemy, I choose to see you as human and might even still offer assistance if you're ever in a position where I can be of assistance. I got where I am in life through hard-work, perserverance, and motivating experiences. It has not been an easy road in the least, and in spite of my accomplishments I always remember one important factor: I never forget what I've gone through, who I am, or where I came from. If I make a promise, I don't break a promise. If I can, I will. If I can't, I'll tell you and I'll always tell you the truth, even if you don't want to hear it. There's a section below for comments, if you believe any of this to be untrue...prove me wrong.
The point is this: I know who I am, do not generalize me or put me in the same categories as the women you are used to, just because I have the same equipment. We are not the same. I'm a good catch, but a difficult catch. I'm like that big fish you tell your buddies about, that you almost had, but just as you got it to the bank, your line snaps and it gets away. Why does that happen? Well, it happens because you lack the patience and you don't pace yourself. Or, you think you can make moves that will trick the fish or render it defenseless and you underestimated its strength. In all actuality, had you calculated its strength or paid attention to its movements, had the patience and remained aware, you surely would have got it all the way up on the bank and it was yours....or after all that saw that your line might snap, but there was no way that fish wasn't coming back with you, you might throw the pole down and jump in after it, not releasing your grip until you were both back on dry land.
This was a bit long, but still a respectable point of view on how to do you. I like that you are firm in your beliefs here, and that you point out that you are also kind hearted, but not a force to be reckoned with. However, we have to remember to keep an open mind about people. Sometimes the subconscious will sabotage those with good intent. Maybe sometimes the men around you might have a little more intuition, and pick up on your observance and judgments. Then they might screw themselves over with out even realizing it. It's just some scenarios that could hypothetically be. Still, loved this stance, and perception of yourself. You know yourself and that's an accomplishment many many people struggle with.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog post.