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Showing posts from December, 2021

Blah blah blacksheep

 Although my birth was amidst the rare blizzard that ensued on March 20, 1984, it created a different chaos for those I was was born to. My conception was an unwanted surprise to two individuals who came from very different backgrounds and who had only recently graduated high school and entered adulthood. It was evident early on that neither was ready for the challenges of parenthood, causing my father to take off and be absent for the first phase of my life. As a result, there is no father listed on my birth certificate and I was given my mother's maiden last name. It took a few years, but with the influence of his mother and prospective wife, he came around. However, in spite of his presence here and there, he was still mostly absent...physically and emotionally. It was clear that my mother harbored animosity towards him by her cold demeanor in his presence. She spoke very little to him or about him, especially if I was in earshot. In fact, I remember waiting for him to pick me u...

Do you really know what it's like?

 I help people, because its what I do. Why? Because I've been there too. I know what it's like to feel alone and be alone, because I've had nobody. I know what it's like to feel like you're not being heard, because I've been ignored. I know what it's like to feel invisible, because I've gone unseen.  I know what it's like to fight for your life, because I've been beaten down. In the literal sense, as well as emotionally.  I know what it's like to give it your all, and receive nothing in return.  I know what it's like to love someone, and they don't love you back.  I know what it's like to be broke, and feel hopeless.  I know what it's like to not be included, because I've been left out.  I know what it's like to feel as if you don't belong, because I was not accepted. I am the blacksheep, but not by my own doing. I was born the blacksheep. And the blacksheep I have remained.