I've never been good at verbalizing my words, or putting my thoughts into words in a way others can understand. It seems they begin to lose interest when I speak. Maybe they've heard what I'm saying too many times, and I just don't remember telling them. Maybe I'm just not that interesting or I talk way too much and they're tired of hearing my voice? However, when I put things on paper and they read it they express that they were inspired or how much they enjoy what I wrote, or how true it was. Whatever it may be, it is much less frustrating for me if I can write it down. I'm good at writing, but I think I'm even better at wearing this mask and smiling through the pain and regret I feel constantly. I smile, even when I have nothing to smile about. I pretend to be happy and to be strong and resilient, but I am really just a weak mess. I am constantly overwhelmed with anxiety and my brain never seems to slow down. I worry over things until I'm sick ...